Tuesday, August 18, 2009

the paci saga begins . . .

We're getting ready to let go of Ava's paci. And all you moms understand what I mean when I say "WE" instead of just "Ava."

I've been trying to talk to Ava about it.

"Ava, pretty soon you'll be big like Addy and Brynne and not need your paci." (her cousins)

"In a little while we'll say 'by,by paci.' "

"You're so big, you don't need your paci anymore."

You get the point.

Ava's responses have been a little humerous.

First time I brought it up she responded with a simple "no please."

Kind of like she thought "that was the end of that."

The next day I heard, "No. Ava. Paci. Mouth."

Yesterday it was, "No. Ava need paci."

That one stopped me in my tracks.

My 2 yr old child, on her own, just informed me that she "NEEDS" her paci. Where do they learn this stuff?

But truth be told, this mommy is learning she kind of needs it to.

Daddy thinks it's time.

I told him fine. He can stay home from work the week we take it away. I'll go stay at my sisters and sleep. : )

But he's right.

It is time. And it isn't going to get easier.

But I'm getting nervous to mess with my peaceful afternoons.

I revamped all girls' sleeping schedules slightly and usually get at least an hour and a half of all 3 girls sleeping every afternoon and sometime 2+ hours.

It's blissful.

It preserves my sanity.

I NEED it. : )

However, I don't want a 5 year old with a paci.

I do know the misery is usually always short lived.

And I'd like to take the paci away before I fully dive into potty training and that I don't want to keep putting off as I have a ready daughter.

I had been thinking I was going to take the plunge this thursday. But we have plans thursday night and a wedding sunday. Neither one sounds fun to have a whiny, over-tired child who hasn't napped well/slept well to deal with.

So I'm starting to think maybe next week.

But I've been saying this for a month as I keep coming up with plans still to come that it sounds easier to HAVE a paci along for than NOT.
I then justify it with the fact that she only is allowed her paci while in bed sleeping.

Hmmm . . .we have a trip up north on Labor day a paci sure would be nice for.

You get the point. : )

So all you moms who have gone before, pour on the advice.

What worked?

What didn't?

How long?

I want it all - the good, the bad AND the ugly. : )

Of course, worst thing that happens is you all tell me to let her keep the paci until she's 5 which she will then sweetly go over to the trash and throw it away and our lives will continue on in blissful peacefulness undisturbed (with unaffected teeth as well).

I'm waiting!


Anonymous said...

Autumn cried for a long time, and kept asking - Daddy to fix it. (I cut the top off and gave it to her.) After she finally realized he wasn't going to fix it - She got over it. But, started sucking on the nub for a few days. It was kind of cute. It always fell out, so I didn't care. Then I took that away too, just in case she got stuck on that next! Maybe upset for a week.
Charity was not as much a sad, crier; as she was MAD. She would yell about it. But, she got over it quicker than Autumn did. For a couple days, she was really mad and loud!
Do not give in!! Make sure you are really ready to go thru with it! That is my best advice. Otherwise, each time you re-start taking it away, will be worse. Be consistent and understanding. Make sure she still has the other stuff she likes to sleep with. Maybe offer a distraction, such as a book to look at, they always fall asleep.
Anyways, Felicity did pretty good. She was a mix of the other two girls, depending on the day:) Cry/Mad - back and forth for a little over a week.
YOU CAN DO IT!! But, I would suggest waiting till you know you have a good week to work on it. So, if this weekend is busy, maybe wait till next week like you said.
And, I am sure she will be fine by Labor Day and then you won't have to worry about packing the paci and if it falls out and gets dirty or which bag it's in....blah know:)


Shelley S said...

Stress!  Two of mine were big passy boys.  One we took away at about 16 months.  He struggled with naps and night-time for about a week.  We did allow him to keep his little blankie which I think helped with the transition.  With the other boy I let him keep it until about 2 1/2. It was probably too long.  He didn't talk much and his speech is still hard to understand and slightly delayed.  I was so nervous about taking it away and I kept putting it off and always had a reason why we needed to keep it (kind of like your post).  We took it away and he cried for about 5 minutes at bedtime and that was that.  If I'd have known it would be that easy I would've done it much sooner!  I agree with Denise - just be consistent and don't give in.  It's hard for both the kid and the Mom, but you'll get through it.  Only other advice I would have is to make sure your babies use a different kind of passy (different shaped nipple and everything) so she doesn't just start stealing theirs.  It is so nice once it's gone.  It's just one less thing to back in the diaper bag.  And you'll be surprised at how old she suddenly seems when it's gone!  I think they can kind of hide behind their passy too and their personality can really shine once it's gone.Good luck!!Shelley

Amber said...

Thanks for your comments Denise and Shelly. It's nice to hear other people's experiences! I'll be interested to see what others have to say.

The good news? The twins don't use paci's - something I'm so thankful for as we get ready to take away Ava's! : )

And I agree, once I do take it, it will be gone. I don't have the energy to draw this out any longer than need be!

Amy Cherise said...

would it help after you take your trips in sept? any harm in doing it the first week in oct? after travels in sept?

an idea: pray for jesus to start calming her heart :) sounds silly to pray about in a way but with her determined heart - maybe out of the blue ava will decide she is "all done with pace"!!!

if the paci 'calms' her down, is there something else you can introduce to her that she can enjoy and look forward to as a 'big girl' now when it is nap time - bed time ...introduce reading 2 EXTRA BOOKS - that she picks out with you at a store (or aunt alisa's!) - when paci is gone??

i have heard from other moms it helps a lot when paci is 'broken' and 'doesn't work anymore'.

with having a 10 year old now and looking back - those times are priceless in a way - so enjoy the ride while she grows up fast!!!

i'm sure you have your share of plastic toys and paci's laying around your house but it is a very very very fast stage!!! there a lot of battles with a toddler so pick your battles one at a time:)

and the day you pick this battle - you can come to my house for the week :) i have it - have auburn keep her for a week and send ava back to your house paci free!!!!

love you!! you're a great mom! xoxo

Amy Cherise said...

one more thought hon... :)

AMEN to you getting your blissful sleep at this sweet busy stage in your life right now :) if ava's paci lets you have quiet afternoon - praise god for the paci right now!!

keep yourself a priority as you throw energy into these 3 girls - when kids are happy - mom is happy
when mom is happy - kids are happy!!!!!

and i know...i have no little ones so it's easy for me to say - don't fret about this!!


Christa said...

You probably didn't even realize that I read your blog at times. We are in a similar boat with Jack. He just turned 2 this summer, and we realize that it is time. We are going on 2 vacations in September. We've told him that after vacation he is going to cut up and throw away his paci. He'll even tell us that is what he going to do after 'cation'. We'll see. Good luck and I understand. The peaceful afternoons are wonderful!
Christa Wiegand

Melodee said...

Good luck, Amber - and tell me how you do it!! Emma was 22 mo. when my twins were born (kinda like Ava) and I pretty much went into "surviver" mode! Currently, Emma (who turned three in Jan.) started potty-training about 2.5 months ago and still has her paci!

The best thing about waiting for me was that, since I'm pretty laid-back anyway, it was very stress-free for me. I had already made up my mind when I found out how close they were all going to be - that "it'll happen when I'm ready for it". Emma has had only FOUR accidents to this date with potty-training and keeps her pull-ups dry during naps and overnight. Within two weeks of starting, she already was wearing (and keeping dry) her big-girl panties when not sleeping. I only had to remind her to go potty for the first few days and then she just did it on her own.

As far as the paci, we have started talking about being a big girl and going to Sunday School - so we are going to hit that one in a couple of weeks. I hope it will be as easy as the potty-training! Since she's older, I am hoping that I can reason with her a little easier.

Don't know what I'll do with the boys (who turn two in Nov.) yet as they are both attached to their paci and I've heard it's harder to potty-train boys. I'll probably wait a bit still - and hope for the best!

Melodee :)

Minders said...

You know I don't have any experience in this since my boys are both finger suckers but I'll try to offer advice anyway. :)

1. GUM - that's what we are using with Noah to get him to stop sucking his fingers during the day. Keeps their mouths busy and distracted from the paci/fingers.

2. I've heard about having a "good-bye paci party". Make it a celebration and send off the paci attached to a balloon and watch it float into the sky. My thought: Buy her a special gift (maybe books like your sis suggested?) or something she would like to make her feel like a big girl.

If you have any suggestions on finger sucking, I'll take that. :)

Mouseymom said...

amber, solomon loved his paci and could only have it for nap and bedtime. my pediatrician said not to take it away till he was ready. I of course did not heed that advice and we took it away and solomon did okay. BUT... he started biting his fingernails voraciously!!! So I talked to his dr. about it and he told me to give him back his pacifier even though solomon had gone 6 weeks without it. so we gave the pacifier back and he stopped biting his nails instantly. about 6 months later, solomon was more ready and he now has no paci and does not bite his nails. My pediatrician said that just using the paci for naps and bedtime will not affect their teeth and that taking a paci away will often result in thumb-sucking which IS very bad for the formation of teeth. So consider waiting a little longer as those naps are golden for you right now. If she has so much apprehension about it and it sounds like she has a strong sounds like a battle! What does your doctor say?

Amber said...

Christa - here's an official welcome! : ) It's nice to know someone else is in it with us. : )

Mindy - the gum is a good idea . . .except for the fact that Ava only uses her paci IN bed. That could get a little messy. : ) but it's totally a good idea - it makes so much sense!

Tricia - you're treading dangerously close to the perfect explanation for letting Ava keep it longer!!!! ; ) I never thought of talking to our ped about it and Ava actually has her 2 yr old check up tomorrow. I'll have to ask him and see what he has to say.

My only hesitation is that if we let Ava keep it, I'll go straight to potty training instead and it most likely means another little while then before the paci would leave. Hmmmmm . . . ..

Christa said...

The paci has helped us tons with potty training. It works way better than candy and encourages Jack to stay on longer when needed. It our cheap reward system.

emilykate said...

I say just let her have it. I mean, isn't the key to healthy/stable children just to let them have whatever they want? :) I'm pretty sure my mom hid mine, but I found always found it. Then she just cut off the tip and soon after that I didn't want it anymore.

Btw your girls, all of them, are precious! Love ya!

Ashley Baner said...

I just spent the entire blog with a crying Reese because she saw the picture of Ava with a "pappy" She only gets hers in bed now.(and sometimes church) If you cut the end off, don't let her have it too long...a friend got an infection due to the paci end full of bacteria!! I usually told them about the process and then cut most of the end off and then they fussed a while and then it was over. Ava is so advanced that I don't forsee a huge issue. She is already reasoning through this...really good sign. I just acted like this was normal to have a paci with no end :) Just don't give in! I have found that with anyhting, I have to be more determined then them and that is HARD with this issue. The paci is as much for you as them!! Let me know how it goes...I might get up the courage to get rid of Reese's!! She also sat on the potty this morning which is big for her so maybe we can think of going there too!

PS I would also agree with Amy...if this gives you peace with that many little girls, it might be worth keeping for a while. She just only turned 2...5 isn't really THAT close :O)

Anonymous said...

We took our daughter off of hers when she turned one and we put her in the big bed
first few days were pretty tough without it but after that it was like nothing at all
she still has a blankie though... im not sure i have it in my heart to take that away from her lol!

Anonymous said...

ok, I don't know you and I just happened to stumble onto your blog, but i can totally sympathize w/ you.. I have an almost 3 yr old.. (we just dealt w/ this about 3 weeks ago!) (i'm not sure how old your girl is), and actually my husband and I were switched - he thought it was no big deal, i did. We first narrowed the paci time to ONLY naps/bed times.. probably when she was 1. So it's been awhile.. Finally she had bitten a hole in the side of the paci - we told her it was the last one, and when it was gone, no more! Well, the hole in the side really made the paci not suck any more, so it was really just a fixture (does that make sense?) (i think it's similar to the cutting the paci thing).. anyway, it had a hole in it for awhile, and one night she bit it in half, handed it to me, and went to bed.. the next dat @ nap time she asked for it, and I told her that it was broken and there was no more paci.. she was a big girl now!! and really, there's been no asking for it since.. I think now I've kind of crossed over to my husband's way of thinking.. don't stress about it, i wouldn't take it away before a vacation :) and don't worry.. she won't be 5 yrs old taking it w/ her to kindergarten :) But i'll say a prayer for you, because it is stressful and you feel bad that you're taking away her friend :)

Anonymous said...

Try letting her listen to a story or song tape at bedtime. It helps them relax like a paci does, but isn't such a bad habit. My 10,7,and 5 yr old still like to listen to a CD @ bedtime. What does it hurt?

Brooke's sister-in-law, Kari

Lead Finger said...

I'm trying to break my 1 year old too, but I cave in about 50% of the time when she won't take her nap! So, I definitely don't have a good answer! I'm gonna read your comments, though!