Tuesday, September 30, 2008

It's a hard knock life . . ..

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

a happy little girl . . ..

Ava and mommy's dreams came true last week . . . .

The NEIGHBOR"S got a puppy!!!!!
Ava's Dream? A tiny little puppy she can pet, kiss and snuggle to her delight.
Mommy's Dream? The puppy is SOMEONE ELSE"S!!!!!!!
It's 9 weeks old and pretty adorable. I don't remember its mix but it won't get bigger than a bichon (also Mommy's perfect size for a dog). Someone has been having lots of fun and has to pet "Susie" every time she sees her.
We've spent the past couple evenings out at my sister's (Ryan was out of town) and it's been so fun watching Ava with her cousins. She never lacks for entertainers! Brynne and Ava were blasting away on the piano with Brynne merrily singing along and I had to snap a quick picture.

We're excited to (hopefully!) be leaving tomorrow to go play with Ava's other cousins!!! I should have some pictures to post when we get back.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

and then the afternoon came . . ..

So remember that warm, fuzzy, "I love being a mommy" feeling from my earlier post today? It's gone . . .and in place is a song whose lyrics keeping running around in my head. It goes something like this:

Let me start at the beginning . ...

Ava and I had been having a great day. Swim lessons started this morning. Good morning nap. A grocery store trip with a cute little girl that waved and said "HI" to everyone who passed her by. Happy mom. Happy baby. Happy life. (this is where some doom-say music should start playing).

We pulled into the garage and I proceeded to quick unload the groceries with Ava still in her car seat. It's always so much easier than having her at my feet to trip over as I run in and out of the house. I had one more trip to go.

As I passed by the car, my hips (or maybe it was my belly already) hit my car door a little and it shut. But no big deal. The car was unlocked and I wasn't concerned.

I grabbed my last item out of the trunk and closed it, ready to get Ava out and head inside.

That's when I heard it.

The sound of automatic locks engaging.

Who ever knew that shutting your trunk can cause all your car doors to automatically lock.

You didn't?!

Me neither.

All I can say is my stomach sunk more than it ever has in my entire life as I looked at my daughter still strapped in her carseat . . ..and my car keys sitting on the driver's seat INSIDE the car.


I raced inside to the keys, raised my hands . . .and saw the empty hook.

That's when I remember that I had used the other set when I went to 4 seasons the other night and had LEFT THEM in the car too (Ryan and I just swapped cars).

I was sick.

I called Ryan in a panic and tears and told him to come home now, that Ava was locked inside the car. I grabbed a wire hanger from upstairs and started unraveling it as I raced back to the garage to try and pick the car's lock.

I got sicker.

You see, our saturn comes with these handy, dandy sun screens that run alongside the window . . .and make it virtually impossible to stick a hanger through the window frame.

Ava, by now, is upset, warm and crying "Mamamamama" as she holds her arms out to me.

I got a little sicker but am trying not to bawl and upset my daughter fuller.

I call Ryan, on his way home, a little more panicked.

He suggests I could bust the passenger window in. But that kind of freaks me out. What if a piece of glass hit Ava?

So I stand by the window, singing songs with Ava to try and keep her calm, as the screams of "BAD MOM" start escalating in my brain.

Ryan gets home and starts trying to work. He ends up tearing off one of those handy dandy sun screens from the window in hopes of trying to then get through the window frame. It doesn't work.

I got even sicker.

Ava by now is just plain upset and starting to get really sweaty (thank God we were in the garage and it wasn't a couple weeks ago with the awful heat and humidity!).

I have a full symphony of "BAD MOM" playing in my mind now.

Finally, Ryan looked at me and told me the words that as a mom, I never wanted to hear.

As soon as I hear the 911 operator, I about lost it. I think that was when the real panic set in. But I managed to sputter out the situation and give them our address.

The operator was so sweet, told me it happened all the time (what mom believes that in the moment), that it wasn't so hot we should be concerned for her safety and that an officer would be here any minute.

I go back to trying to sing to Ava (in between wiping tears) and we wait.

Then I hear the sirens.

I can only imagine what my neighbors had to be thinking as the cop car races up to our driveway.

The officer jumps out, grabs some tools from his trunk and has Ava out of the car in 2 minutes flat.

I've never been so glad to hold my daughter in my life.

She was drenched with sweat . . ..but it took about 30 seconds for her to become quickly enthralled with the cop car and a truck that just went by. God bless the memory of a one year old.

If only mine was so short!

The officer could not have been nicer. I wish I would have gotten his name to write a letter of thanks. I'd have given him a hug if I had been willing to put Ava down.

But what made the sweet song still playing (albiet a little quieter) in my head pick up volume again?

When the officer looked at Ava's still very visable bruise/bump on her head and said, "looks like someone has a good bruise."

Yes. my name is Amber. And I not only managed to let my daughter get locked in the car . . .but yes officer, she also has a goose egg on her head and a huge scratch on her neck.

The symphony is playing again.

The officer sweetly said, "I have a 13 and an 11 yr old . . .but I still remember those days."


I bet you never locked THEM in a car.

I never thought I"d be HOPING Ava wakes up during the night but I think MOMMY needs to be rocked tonight.

Start again tomorrow?

getting sentimental

Last night Ava woke up during the night. She rarely, if ever, does this. So this mommy took the rare chance to have some extra snuggle time and spent a little while rocking my little girl back to sleep.

I got a little sentimental.

As I held my little girl, I realized very quickly how she takes up a much larger portion of my lap. It seemed like yesterday she was a newborn baby we just brought home. She's quickly turning into a little girl . . .and we're making way to bring new babies home.

Then I got a little more sentimental.

I thought how much I love just "her and I." How I've had the priceless gift of a whole year where we were a team and she was my one companion throughout each day. There was nothing that stopped us from snuggling up on the couch to read book after book without a care in the world.

I have to admit, I got a little sad that in not so long, it won't be just her and I.

Don't get me wrong. I'm so thrilled our family is growing and praise God that we can give Ava siblings! I know, like with each new transition, there will be so many more blessings that come with the changes. I know, much sooner than later, Ava will be snuggling up with her brothers/sisters on the couch to READ THEM a book and I'll be capturing that moment in my heart as well with as much sentimentality.

Yet last night, I have to admit, I treasured that it was just one more night of just Ava and me.

As I laid her back in bed, I decided I needed to capture her in the moment and went and grabbed my camera. And as I looked at the picture I had to smile and think, "oh, her mommy is in her."

A past picture taken came to mind:

and then several more to make my case:

last night?

I love you Ava Cherise.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008


Ok, so I was trying to post and was all finished . . .and accidentally erased this next photo. When I reuploaded . . .I couldn't (aka: didn't know how) put it back to the bottom of the post and am too lazy to redo the whole post. So when you read, "Here's a bettter angle" . . ..scroll back up, view this picture again, and finish post in correct order. Sigh . . .my brain can only handle so much in a day.

Ive been slightly uninspired for the blog world lately. So sorry for my long absences. Not too much to post. Ava is at a stage where she sees the camera, smiles and runs . . .and I"m too tired to chase her! : ) I must confess that napping takes up much of our day!

We did just get back from a very fun, long weekend in Michigan. Ava got to party at Grandpa and Grandma Bahr's while Mommy and Daddy got to go enjoy a "Weekend to Remember" Conference. Bonus? I even got to enjoy fresh Michigan Cidar Mill spice donuts, caramel apples and cidar friday before the conference started. A weekend away with my husband AND indulging in food? - this pregnant lady was quite happy! : ) There isn't much that beats Michigan in the fall!

The time away with Ryan was great. I had to think so often how perfectly God planned the timing of the conference with so many upcoming changes to process and pray through as a couple. The most exciting part that was confirmed for me? I've been blessed with a man whose love, strength and leadership makes all these upcoming changes something I can't wait for. Thanks for such a great weekend lover! I'd post pictures but . . .I forgot the camera.

Ava has had an exciting week so far. She decided to take on our furniture . . .and lost.

(By the way Dad, we were calling "Papa" here!)

So it doesn't look SO bad in these pictures. I've tried and tried to get a picture that does her bruiser justice but did I mention she likes to run from the camera (either that or grab it!)?
Here's a slightly better angle to see the goose egg she got. Keep in mind, these pictures are 24 hours after the fact and the swelling has gone down slightly. She doesn't seem to be fazed. It's more mommy that worries. I'm very thankful we didn't have to go get stiches though!

And yet on another random note, Ava is looking alot like Ryan again to me lately (yes, I know, there are those of you that think I can't be found in my daughter's features . . .but I promise, I am there (or is that just mommy's wishful thinking?!)).

It's so fun (and a little sad) to see her continue to change into more and more of a little girl. I continue to love the little person I see emerging. I also have to think that at least carrying twins increases the odds of having a child that looks a little more like me. But hey, I like how their daddy looks so we can't go wrong!

Monday, September 8, 2008

a heart to heart with Ava

Being the concerned, intentional and proactive mother that I am, I thought it wise to sit down with Ava and explain the coming changes to our family that twins will bring.

her response?

We're having what?!?!?!?!?

(yes, the freshly washed - and uncombed hair - may have some help with the dramatic portion of above photo)

Thursday, September 4, 2008

our first sonogram!!!

We got to have our first sonogram the other day!

It's always so miraculous to see such a perfectly formed little

baby and each of its perfect movements.

Mommy and Daddy quickly fell in love . ....

and then after we fell over . . .we fell in love again.
Mommy, Daddy and Ava will be welcoming home twins come March!
Yes . . .we were a LITTLE surprised too!!
And because we already get asked this right away: yes . . .it is in our families.

On my mom's side, both of my grandparents have twins in their families (3 sets on my grandma's side!) and Ryan's side has a set of twins there as well. The ironic part: twins are suppose to skip ONE generation. Yet out of 8 children on my mom's side, none had them. Out of 19 grandchildren, now only two of us will have twins. Both sides were obviously waiting for the perfectly equipped set of parents to come along and so decided to wait TWO generations. : )

Ok, I can pretend.

We are excited, overwhelmed, thankful and truly in love with both babies God has given us.

Although did I mention, we covet your prayers?!?!