so where's the gray in your life?

Sorry.

No cute pictures of my kids again.

It's just me.

But I just kind of had to post about something I've been reminded of lately as I"ve read some other blog posts and thought through some circumstances in my own life.

Do you ever find yourselves amongst the land of "all or nothing?"

You know.

There's no way I can get the whole house cleaned up, so why bother with just the family room.

I already ate way too much this morning, the rest of the day is ruined.

I only have 15 minutes before the kids are up, what's the point of even trying to exercise.

There's no way I have time to do "real devotions," 5 minutes aren't enough.

Yes, such is a bad habit of mine.

The good news?

It's gotten much better.

Long ago in my "much younger years" ( : ) ), that used to be the basis of all my decision making.

If I couldn't accomplish a task or goal in the entire duration, intensity or way I wanted to, there was zero validity in doing even a little bit.

Life is depressing living that way (probably why I was depressed : ) ) and leaves little room for growth, grace or learning.

Why?

You're constantly in a state of failure.

You try to not get depressed while failing all the time. It isn't easy I tell you!

I think if anyone ever asked me what is the "Big" lesson God taught me through some very rough years, it is that even He created life to hold a little gray (although He probably would use the word "grace.").

So why bring this all up?

Because I find myself at a stage in life where I am constantly having to choose the "gray."

And that isn't always fun.

Lack of sleep, constancy of children and an endless list of things that should be done have all become things that stand in the way of devotions, eating well , going places, and exercise.

God bless Ryan.

When I call him on the phone at work lamenting a shortened time frame or encountered obstacle to accomplish a desired goal I had that day, he is gracious at constantly trying to come up with a new way to make it happen in some shape or form.

My problem?

I find myself sliding back into an "all or nothing" mindset too often as I shoot down suggestion after suggestion he offers me.

God love the man. . . and his patience.

The truth is?

Some is always better than none.

Mornings do not need to define an entire day.

The girls' bad nights do not have to ruin tomorrow.

Just because I"ve found I can't cut back much on my food intake because of nursing two, doesn't mean I have to eat junk all day long.

And even when I only have 10 minutes . . . I still have 10 minutes.

So I'm working on soaking in the 5 minutes of reading I can embrace.

I'm trying to feel accomplished in the 10 minute workout segment I managed to get in despite the girls' waking up early to nurse.

I'm learning to celebrate that the kitchen sink has been emptied of dirty dishes even if it's the only clean surface in my entire first floor. : )

I'm relearning the simplicity of the gray.

Lots of 5 minute drinks turn into refreshment.

3 ten minute segments becomes 30 minutes.

Emptied sinks, wiped up counters and folded laundry turns into a mostly clean kitchen.

And you know?

Since my morning doesn't have to define my afternoon?

I'm going to oh so enjoy my ghiradelli's caramel filled milk chocolate square (or two).

I'll start again this afternoon and maybe start with an apple. : )

And no worries - my parents leave for Japan tomorrow.

More pictures will return soon.