ahh . . . the lovely family photo

We had our pictures taken for the church directory today.

It was such a joy.

sigh.

That was a lie.

You see, our family is at the stage where family photos are a bit of a joke.

You try and tell two 9 week old babies and a 21 month old little girl to sit still, look at the camera . ..oh and while you're at it, please smile.

Ryan and I went in with low expectations.

I said all I hoped for was one child looking at the camera.

Nothing else.

The bow didn't need to be in place.

Smiles weren't required.

Shoes were a bonus but not a neccesity.

And if I didn't look completely awful, that's always a plus.

I got slightly hopeful as Ryan, myself and the twins were put in place, then Ava and no fits began.

Ava even was sitting still.

However, Mr. Photo guy decided it would be nice to take 5 minutes of prep before beginning to click and actually trying to get my daughter to smile.

It was a sweet thought, but Mr. Photo Man didn't you know? - a smile wasn't on my list of requirements.

Plus his window of opportunity for said 21 month old to stay still enough for a picture was quickly evaporating.

However, after one photo, it was almost like this man looked at us through some realistic eyes and a light bulb went on.

Ryan and I both said later to eachother it was as if he looked at us and realized the poor potential in front of him, and he just decided he had to click the shutter 3 more times "to give us options" and he might as well get it over . . .because the gorgeous family photo was not about to manifest itself.

So he quickly clicked the shutter 3 more times with little or no warning and hustled us out of the room.

I walked out just praying for something that wasn't entirely embarrassing - my expectations had changed.

I no longer needed even just "average."

All I was hoping for was something not entirely embarressingly awful.

As we were called in to view our photos, we got to walk this line of perfectly placed, tailored and smiling framed families.

Children sitting sweetly in place.

Rest, peace and joy exuding from every pore of the parents' perfectly tailored faces.

In fact, I think I might have heard angels singing.

Either that or mocking - I'm not quite sure.

You see, as soon as we sat down and viewed the first photo, we knew we were in trouble.

Bad appeared on the screen in the form of photo #1.

Ava's eyes were closed, Olivia was half crying and Ryan wasn't looking directly at the camera.

Photo #2 showed up: worse.

Ava was looking at the camera with her dead stare. Oliva AND Kate were crying. Mom was looking down.

Photo #3: worst
Ava was trying to climb off the table. Kate had her head completely tilted upwards and looked ridiculous. Mom and Dad looked exhausted (that's being kind)

Photo #4: just ugly
Ava's hand was covering her face. The girls were starting to fuss. Mom LOOKED like she just had twins, is exhausted and possibly ready to hit said photo man across the head. Dad still just looked tired.

Meanwhile, those perfect church photos still stared tauntingly at us across the top of the computer screen.

So Ryan and I yelled "surrender," chose bad photo #1 and walked out as gracefully and quickly as we could.

We're praying our friends really love us because of who we are . . .and not the cute pictures we take.

But I tell you, watch out.

In another 10 years, WE"RE going to be that family staring at you across from the top of the computer screen.

Family picture drills start promptly monday morning at 8.

My kids are going to love me.

OH - and just in case you were wondering?

No additional photos were purchased. One copy will be MORE than plenty.