and then you get back up .. .

I saw a great view of the ceiling last night.

You know the feeling?

Life seems fairly under "control."

You're plugging along.

You tell God, "I think I've got it." (maybe that was the problem . .. it should have been "we.")

then you trip.

ok. . .

I'll be honest.

I just plain got layed out.

Have I ever mentioned my ceilings need some serious repainting? I got a GREAT look at them last night.

God brought me face to face with some old battles last night. Lessons I thought I had learned, He showed me still needed some teaching. Lessons I thought I had put long behind me, I found still need some surrendering. God showed me how much I still need Him . . .even when I think "I have it."

As I was pondering it all, an old conversation with a friend came to mind. We were discussing a huge struggle in my life at that time and I was berating and berating myself. I was struggling with comprehending how can a perfect God not get so impatient with someone as imperfect as me.

This friend looked at me and exclaimed, "Amber it's easy . . .He doesn't see the failure. He sees the step forward."

She then proceeded to share how a nephew of hers had recently begun taking his first steps. With those steps came many falls. Many. Yet never did his parents look at him and condemn him for falling. They didn't grow impatient that he didn't master it in 3 tries. Instead, they scooped him up and rejoiced at the step he took, that had been the cause of the fall . ..and many more still ahead.

This analogy has always been a powerful teacher for me. It hits home even more as Ava takes beginning steps of her own. I'm eager to help her begin again and cheer on each new attempt. I want her to be encouraged by the forward progress and not discouraged with the setbacks. I'm excited to keep moving forward with her.

Reading last night God brought me back to a favorite passage of mine in Isaiah 40 that taught me just a little bit differently in the moment.

"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth does not become weary or tired. His understanding is inscrutable. he gives strength to the weary, and to him who lacks might He increases power. Though youths grow weary and tired, and vigorous young [wo] men stumble badly, yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary."

So in this journey of mine God has shown me I have a choice. I can choose to stop and sit while lamenting the stumble. OR? I can choose to acknowledge the stumble occurred before God (and I guess now man!), praise God how far He has brought me . . . and start walking again.

I'm starting new today with my Everlasting God who does not become weary. Even when I stumble He gives me strength and I will walk.

I've realized independence isn't really all that glamorous. It lands me on my back looking at our ceiling again.

Did I mention my ceilings really need repainting?

Hmmm . ..which makes me think maybe that's where I need to have Ryan start.

What about you?